The Wendy House
I’ve had less scary nightmares. There is nothing worse than being chatted up by unattractive, overweight, middle-aged Goths. Except when you’re not wearing black and you feel like an impartial observer. For this is the gothiest, most 80’s night to be found in Leeds. Only here would you find the look-a-like member of 80s Matchbox B-Line Disaster dancing camply with a tall afroed boy flashing pink netting through the rips in his black t-shirt. A Sleaze Nation, coke addict, name-dropping, fashion student, whore tried to convince me she’d slept with The Libertines, but I didn’t believe her. I spent a while talking to a comparatively normal couple, however I’m sure their relationship was a sham. These well dressed freshers clad pleasantly in denim and fashionable t-shirts gave mixed opinions of The Wendy House. The buxom female commented “I’ve had more pleasurable menstruation”, whilst her limp-wristed partner claimed “fun has found a new hiding place, and it’s a dark corner”. I found salvation underneath a halogen bulb outside the gents, watching fat girls in nu-rock boots, which is not a treat. Although, spotting prosthetic dreadlocks is surprisingly fun. I saw a boy who looked strangely like Morrissey trying to fit in by wearing black eye-liner, but being a boy wearing heavy black make-up doesn’t make you fit in at the Wendy House, it’s a lifestyle choice. I’ve come to an informed decision, I’d rather have spent the night at The Lowther.
Music – 80s Chees, Metal
Crowd – Satanic goths
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