Odd Socs Social on Campus
Tory Social – Tory Curry
We Tories like tradition. In fact, we like it so much; that we honour the great traditions of Britain by frequenting a local curry-house “The Rise of the Raj” every week after the fun and frolics of weekly Tory meeting.
I myself am not a great fan of curry. This is not because I’m a “bloody minded”, “xenophobic” Tory; but because I simply don’t like it. Thus please forgive my bias. The furthest East my palate dares to venture is a Chinese meal. Eurosceptic as I am, I much prefer the delicacies -of fine European cuisine, such as Italian, Greek or French, to an uncomfortably hot curry, or indeed the shaky economic predicament of the European union, not to mention the Euro. Having said this, I am not adversed to the milder section of the menu.
Even for those with sensitive taste-buds, do not try to save your tongue by going for the korma, which is little more than a sweet coconut soup. Having said this, do not be fooled by the even milder options, which would probably be more fit for desert, but is simply not on a par with a well made bread and butter pudding, or a generous portion of spotted dick and custard. (No sleaze please, we’re Tories). I am, however, a great fan of the butter chicken tikka which was adventurous enough to be tasty, but would not leave my internal organs in tatters the next day.
Popadoms are always a good way to start your meal but can be rather filling since they are simply an exotic (not to mention oversized) version of crisps. Do not be put off by the bright red mango chutney which is reminiscent in colour but thankfully not in flavour of some sort of nuclear waste; it is actually rather lovely.
Drinks may take a while to arrive, but I dare suppose that this is perhaps due to the shear amount of business that we Tories put in the way of the “Rise of the Raj”. We are probably putting the owner’s children through their education with the mass and regularity of our business; and will hopefully be doing so for a while despite phoney Tony’s pathetic attempts of raising the price of education.
By the time we finish the generous main meal, there is usually no room for desert, unless we are confronted (as we usually are) by free after dinner mints and chocolates from the friendly owners of the restaurant. On this occasion it is considered acceptable for a Tory to freeload!
History Society – Pub Crawl
The popular attitude towards historians is that we are lazy buggers with too much time on our hands (yes we are those with a measly two hours a week at the best of times and six at the worse). With this in mind you would expect us to have damn good socials…after all we have ample time to map the most energy-efficient route between pubs or find a madcap costume of our favourite medieval monarch.
You would be wrong.
Being only a baby of a society, I fear that we are yet to do ourselves justice. Judge for yourselves with our brief (and chronological) list of socials held to date-
‘Historical’ pub crawl I- Smashing idea this, as York is spilling over with pubs that are rapidly beginning to resemble archaeological exhibits. But being weak and tired (it’s all that reading we are forced to do, honest!) we made it to a meagre three pubs-with most of us still walking soberly to the third, and final, pub. We should score some points though as the pubs were historical and some of us were even so inclined to drop in on the Roman Baths in one of them- handy, that.
A Ghost Walk- With it pissing it down with rain, the majority of us weighed up the pros and cons of the situation and decided to stay in the Postern Gate Wetherspoons (sadly not a historical landmark).
‘Historical’ pub crawl II- A huge improvement on the first- four pubs this time! By this time next year, we’ll have ‘bar crawling’ down to a fine art. I promise.
Trip to Leeds’ Armouries- This is undeniably the best social yet. About twelve of us (a good turn out considering that only 400 or so people study History) sacrificed a day to extend our knowledge of war and weaponry. We battled the backstreets of Leeds for an hour to find the place, and emerged victorious. Free entrance entitled us to a somewhat enlightening show of jousting by four men dressed in drag riding stunted horses and a lesson in that useful pastime of sword fighting by two men in tights reciting Shakespeare. And we mustn’t forget the hours of joy and rapture we shared whilst learning about pistols, daggers and war tactics through the ages. Once we had ensured we had our money’s worth, we found our way to a cocktail bar, situated conveniently near the train station. You could say that ‘shots’ were the theme of the day!
Personally, I think we should hang our heads in shame with the socials organised thus far and sincerely hope that you will seize this opportunity to redeem us. Contact socs420@york.ac.uk with any suggestions (no abuse from the science students please).
Bridge Club Social
Inspired by the A-team DVD box set I got for Christmas, I decided that the bridge club should have a social where we all dress up as members of the A-team and have a three-legged bar crawl. As one of the smallest societies on campus, Steve and I came up with another brilliant idea; hire a male stripper to get the hordes of tasty young females to accompany us on our merry tour of campus.
To get the night off to a good start, we began by watching Star Trek Nemesis and then a few episodes of The A-Team to get us in the party mood. But all too soon it was time to move off to Derwent Common Room, the most happening place on campus for the evening. While we waited for all the nubile young women to arrive, we listened to some classic 80’s beats. We even had “Rock the Kasbah”, which was pretty funny, as Kasbah is one of the campus bars! By 8:30 we decided that the girls had misread our posters and got the wrong night, as none had arrived yet. We had a vote whether to cancel the stripper and by a majority of one, it was decided that he should go. As there were only three of us there, Steve and I were in one team, while we all laughed at AJ, who only had two legs!!
The first bar we went to was the Charles. Malibu and Coke was the order of the day and Steve got the night really rolling when he bet AJ that he wouldn’t go up to a group of girls and tell them that his mate (me the T-meister) fancied them, but he did go up to them!! I was so embarrassed, because one of them is in my Maths tutorial.
We hurried to JJs after AJ was caught trying to stuff a menu in his pocket, where we drank nearly half a bottle of Malibu between us! Steve had half a Silk Cut light and said he felt sick, but he still looked really hard! He made me and AJ promise not to tell his mum and dad.
It was really late and we didn’t end up going home till 10.30! However there was yet still more action as on the way back we stole a breeze block off a building site! Then AJ came up with the amazing idea of selling the damn thing on e-bay! This is brilliant news as the club doesn’t get any outside funding. So as we all made our weary way home, we felt safe in the knowledge that, as our club motto says, “Bridge is like making love to a beautiful woman, if you haven’t got a good partner, you need a good hand”.
If you want to go on the next bitchin’ Bridge social, email rjl117@york.ac.uk to join.
If anyone would like to buy the 19 Silk Cut Lights left from the night, please email Steve at sj112@york.ac.uk
Loading ...