The Student Counsel
Our:Panel
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CompSci Rep – Deals with issues about technology and the modern world |  |
Philosophy Rep – Life, the universe and androgyny. She’s an expert! |
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Linguistic Rep – Want to overcome cultural barriers, he’s your man |  |
Sociology Rep – Relationship problems, fashion nightmares, look no further, help is at hand |
Your:Problem
Dear nouse,
As part of my degree I’m spending some time abroad. Although I know this is a good decision, I can’t help but feel a little lost and insecure. Firstly, I find my new surroundings difficult and I don’t know anyone here, which is hard enough without adding the fact that I don’t speak the language. The hardest part is that I have had to leave my long term partner at home. We are very close and spend a lot of our time together, you hardly ever see us apart. Our sex life has also suffered as we have a spicy relationship and are quite open about our feelings. I miss spending quality time with her., but most embarrassingly I am having trouble deciding what to wear now that I don’t have her to help dress me . What should I do?
David, Madrid.
Embrace Positivism
David, firstly you need to know….you’re normal! It is perfectly natural to have reservations when making what is obviously such a major transition in your life. Rationally, you seem to understand that the move you’re making is beneficial however, unfortunately emotions are far from rational and you are bound to feel lost and insecure at first. Yet, you are not alone in feeling this!
With regards to your wardrobe, use your new found independence to develop your own sense of style that’s uniquely you. Put a positive spin on what may first appear as a negative and difficult move and use it as a period of personal growth.
Remember, in life what sometimes appears to be the end, is really a new beginning.
Floppy Disks
Boy, just because you’re separated don’t mean you’re sex life gotta suffer!
The main wonder of the 20th Century was the massive advance in communicative technology…this opened new doors to horny men and women everywhere! There ain’t nothing shameful about some good old fashioned phone sex, it’s always been popular and it can bridge a thousand miles! (You may want to consider adjusting your budget for a slightly bigger phone bill!) Why not add your own 21st Century spin to it, and brush up on your typing skills for some raunchy cyber sex online? Warning: Be careful of “spillages” around the computer, as they are expensive items to replace, and personally I wouldn’t want to explain to the guy at PC World how the keyboard got damaged…!
Also, because you’re not together all the time, there isn’t much danger of you’re sex life becoming mundane or routine. As your sex is rationed, when you do get to meet up it’ll be like the first time every time, and even simple things like holding hands at the cinema will become heightened and more special.
Cunning Linguist
It is strange and scary moving to a new area, especially after moving from somewhere you knew well and the burger van man knew you by name! Try and think about it in a more positive way; it’s a chance to get to know another area of the world and meet a whole new set of friends…remember, a stranger is simply a friend you haven’t met yet! Immerse yourself in social activities, and join clubs and societies which a sure way of mixing with people who share the same interests as you. As for not understanding the language, have YOU ever tried sitting through a maths lecture?! Each and every subject has it’s own technical jargon which most Fresher’s will understand as much as if the lecturer was speaking Swahili… at first! However, if you put in the effort and aren’t scared to ask for help when you need it (and invest in a good technical dictionary!!) you’ll be surprised at how fast you pick it all up.
Nature Vs Nurture
Leaving your partner behind…it’s make or break time honey! This is probably the most difficult aspect about moving away, and it’s a question of is it out of sight, out of mind or absence makes the heart grow fonder. Sadly if it’s the first, there probably ain’t much hope. But if it’s closer to the second, and you’re both determined to make it work then distance can make a relationship stronger. It’s a case of finding other ways of showing affection, ranging from extravagant romantic gestures such as sending her a dozen red roses or having her name tattooed across an area of your anatomy, to just saying hi with a cheeky text message or finding a postcard that will make her think of you and laugh (hopefully in a good way!)
Don’t Despair
If you’ve got a problem that needs a good probing, email features@nouse.co.uk
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