Fashion On A Fiver
Musty smells, bearded men…..and women, bargain bins and collection boxes. This was the world we entered when we accepted MUSE’s challenge to see how far we could be fashionable on a budget. Dangerous stuff, I think you’d agree.
First stop was PDSA on Goodramgate (for those not in the know, this is a charity for pets in need of vets). Weeding through the shocking collection of hideous woolly jumpers and tweed suits, we located several seemingly suitable items for this seasons’ fashions. Serious research (ie a quick flick through Cosmo while waiting at the bus stop) had already concluded that distinct decade looks are "in". Our luck also seemed to be in, as dated…. sorry, retro, styles are exactly what charity shops specialise in. However, this particular shop seemed only to be the tip of the iceberg, though we did make a mental note of a hat in a bin for later reference.
Next, Scope. Helpfully, the kindly old ladies here had colour coded the clothes rails. But this shop seemed full of women also checking out this seasons fashions, so unnoticed we sloped to the back to find something for Neil, our willing male model, passing on the way some greying bras – can someone please tell us why anyone would buy someone else’s old bra…? Neil’s style is typically a creased shirt and cord trousers, not forgetting his newly acquired handbag and bouffant hair. (But sorry boys, he’s definitely not gay!) We thought we’d run with this image, but maybe go a bit more indie with it. We’re no experts on male fashions, but we know what we like, and magically we found it on the rail in front of us in the form of, no, not Brad Pitt, but a brown corduroy jacket (£5.95) and blue and white print shirt (£4.50). Sorted! It was duly noted that charity shops have gone beyond the days of cash boxes and into card-swiping technology, as we actually paid by Switch! That the old lady behind the counter knew how to use this technology was a miracle in itself. Also, note that if you are unhappy with your purchase you can return it within 28 days, with the price label still attached, and get a full refund! Even students aren’t that tight, surely?
Despite our success in Scope, we realised we still hadn’t found anything for our beautiful model Rose. So onto Mind we skipped – alongside a big bearded guy with a rucksack who looked a bit shifty. We soon realised why he looked shifty. It seems that Mind have had problems with a shoe thief, as they only put out one shoe of each pair. However, Mind didn’t seem as fashionable as Scope (never thought we’d say the words "fashion" and "Scope" in the same sentence) so we went next door to Save the Children.
This place had character. Or characters, in particular the lady volunteer behind the counter who was strangely reminiscent of one of the old "dears" in The League of Gentlemen. We kept expecting her to ask if we wanted a bag, and to blame something on "that Merril!", instead she politely took our pound from us as we purchased some lovely black plastic beads.
The British Heart Foundation had more to offer, including a Woman in a Tabard (Johnny Vaughan would be proud) and a HUGE black jumper which we felt was sufficiently 80s-style to warrant parting with £3.99. Jackpot! Onwards to Oxfam, which on first impressions seemed a bit posh, ie expensive in charity shop terms. However on closer inspection bargains were to be found, in the vintage-style dress collection. Drama Soc, take note, your costumes are here! We emerged from Oxfam £4.99 poorer with a River Island 20s style dress and a big grin (not all volunteers are old ladies, if you know what we mean!)
We felt we deserved a lunchbreak, then begrudgingly found our way back into High Street society, calling into Etam for bright red tights (a shocking three whole pounds!) to complete the eighties look that the black jumper had started. Our purses were empty and our arms were tired, weighed down by our bargains. We retired to a coffee shop to reflect on our experience.
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