Services Shock
Stunned revellers in Derwent bar saw Services Officer hopeful Chris Osborne sneek past his better known opponents, Alex Ball and Tim Fassam to grab the post. Despite having no prior SU experience the former URY supremo snatched what is widely regarded as the most demanding sab postion the Union has to offer.
In a brief acceptance speech Osborne was mobbed by supporters and exclaimed "I really don’t know what this feels like – I just can’t explain it!" . Admitting, "I’ve no idea what’s ahead of me" Osborne candidly revealed to nouse:"I’m scared, we’ll just have to see how it goes".
Like many of the other candidates, Osborne vowed to reduce the cliquey-ness of the SU, conceding that it "has dogged the Union for several years now and must be brought to an end." He also stressed that any extension in licensing hours should be seized upon exclaiming "I’d love it for campus bars to be open 24 hours a day." A campus bookie to cover Uni sports – and elections, was also not ruled out.
Despite this, Osborne refused to promise any sweeping changes in the way that the post is currently run, referring to current Services Officer James Byron as his "inspiration".
Student Societies are unlikely to benefit from Osborne’s appointment, whereas opponent Fassam had vowed to double the amount of money available for this cause. Despite strong connections with URY, he reemphasised the words of his predecessor "there is an ever increasing number of societies fighting over an ever decreasing amount of money. I’m not going to make any false promises."
He then went on to suggest that acts like Madonna, Michael Jackson, Groove Armada and even a reforming of New Kids on the Block are being lined up for Grad Ball 2004, one of the main events he is in charge of. No realistic acts have been considered.
The post has notoriously been dogged with controversy, but Chris claims that there will be no shenanigans during his tenure…well at least initially. "After three months I don’t think anyone really cares what you do." he claimed.
A mixed reaction greeted the appointment of the Fourth Year Electronics student. "How can they put this guy in charge of our Grad Ball?" asked Halifax student Jonathan Hagget. However Vanbrugh resident Jane Albarn commented "It just shows that you don’t need to be part of the original group get a good sabbatical post."
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